Wednesday, September 30, 2009 9:09 PM CDT
COLUMN: Toyota and Tufts University have some ideas to offer, but what would YOU do?
By PENNY WEAVER, News Editor
pweaver@jg-tc.com
You’re driving along, and the accelerator on your Toyota gets stuck on the floor mat, and you and your vehicle begin to hurtle through space, reaching speeds that defy all limits.
What do you do?
You’re snoozing in your dormitory when you suddenly wake up enough to realize that the amorous dream you were having involving your roommate wasn’t just a hidden fantasy but the reality that he or she is letting the object of their affection spend a little too much time in your room. And, they’re 5 feet away from you.
Then what?
Both of these scenarios made the news this week, and the floor mat/accelerator issue in particular, um, stuck with me.
That doesn’t sound like an amusing situation, but some of us with warped senses of humor did find chuckles in Toyota Motor Corp.’s announcement of a recall of 3.8 million vehicles in the United States.
The move is to address problems due to a removable floor mat that could make accelerators stick and lead to a crash, the Associated Press reported.
No, that’s not funny, except that ... well ... if you put a floor mat in your car and it interfered with clearance under the accelerator, wouldn’t you, um, remove it?
Allow me to oversimplify and make fun of this serious situation.
With the top-selling Toyota Camry and popular Prius part of the move, it’s the company’s largest ever recall in this country. Toyota spokesman Irv Miller advised car owners to take out the removable floor mat (on the driver’s side, he specified — and I’m assuming he said it with a straight face) and not replace it until the company finds a fix, the AP reported.
Miller had some chilling, revolutionary words on the topic:
“A stuck open accelerator pedal may result in very high vehicle speeds and make it difficult to stop a vehicle, which could cause a crash, serious injury or death.”
Really? Seriously?
There have been several reports of incidents in which the accelerator on the Toyota vehicles in question may have become stuck on the floor mats. Officials don’t know yet how many of these happenings led to crashes.
The government is taking this seriously. Something that might interfere with the accelerator on your car, apparently, truly could become a problem.
“This is an urgent matter,” Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood said in a statement. “For everyone’s sake, we strongly urge owners of these vehicles to remove mats or other obstacles that could lead to unintended acceleration.”
Ah, no, we couldn’t rely on common sense to solve this issue. Thanks to the litigious society in which we live, companies have to cover their, um, bottom lines even on the most simple issues with their products.
So do not become alarmed: Toyota has advice for the confused, frightened, panicky vehicle owner hurtling through space. The company says:
n If owners think their vehicle is accelerating out of control, they should check to see if the floor mat is under the pedal. If the driver can’t remove the mat, Toyota says, he/she should step on the brake with both feet until the vehicle slows, then try to put it in neutral.
n In Toyotas with start/stop buttons, drivers can shut off an engine by holding the button down for three seconds.
So you’re driving along, innocently talking to Aunt Hildegard on your cell phone, noshing on some greasy french fries on your way to the gym, listening to the Beach Boys’ “Fun Fun Fun,” and your accelerator sticks.
What would you do?
1. Drop everything, unclick your seat belt and see if you are flexible enough to lean down and around and kiss your own butt goodbye.
2. Look along the road for a soft landing, such as a line of haystacks, a big dirt pile where you can do a “Dukes of Hazzard” jump into the air or a cushy stretch of fluffy marijuana plants.
3. Try pulling out the floor mat, braking, applying the emergency brake or, if all else fails, force the car into neutral as you steer toward the shoulder and try to remember why, even though you aren’t Catholic, you never learned the “Hail Mary.”
I know — it’s good for consumers to be warned about such a possible danger. But I’d think that a person would notice if a floor mat is bulky enough or in a position to interfere with the accelerator pedal.
Then again, why simplify life with common sense when we can overcomplicate it and enjoy a good tizzy?
In fact, without a good old-fashioned overreaction, Tufts University wouldn’t have its groundbreaking ban on sexual activity in dorm rooms while a roommate is present. What would students do then?!
The Boston-area college this semester added the new rule to its policies after about a dozen complaints in the past three years, the AP reported (see page C1 for the story).
Gosh, I always thought closing one’s eyes and putting on headphones, blaring with some rowdy music, took care of that problem. What would college be like if one polite young person didn’t have to step down the hall to study a while, out of deference to another roomie and in protection of his or her own senses, at least once a semester?
So your college roommate is having sex with someone in your tiny little dorm room.
What would you do?
1. Roll over and go back to sleep, but vow to open a mature discussion about boundaries the next day.
2. Take a long walk.
3. Leave a copy of the college policy against such nonsense firmly planted under the accelerator in the offender’s Toyota.
Better decide your chosen response now. You might not have anyone of authority around to tell you what to do when it actually happens.
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~STRANGER~ wrote on Oct 1, 2009 5:48 AM: