Wednesday, July 8, 2009 9:38 PM CDT
COLUMN: If only this area had a really sophisticated fest, like Tour de Fat
By PENNY WEAVER, News Editor
pweaver@jg-tc.com
I haven’t decided yet just how — or if — to explain Bagelfest to my out-of-state friends.
Modern technology and Facebook allow me to keep in touch with pals from Houston, Washington, D.C. and Atlanta and relatives everywhere from Florida to Ohio to Colorado. Most of them are city folk, and Mattoon’s 18,000 or so population can best be viewed by them as “quaint.”
So with the annual Bagelfest opening next Wednesday, I have a choice: “Come out” to them as a Bagelfest fan, or just blithely mention a local festival going on and be done with it.
Should I decide to explain the whole thing to them, I suspect the exchange might go something like this:
“Bagelfest starts next week!” I’d excitedly share.
“What the (expletive) is a ‘bagelfest’?” they’d respond.
“Well,” I’d hesitate, “we sort of celebrate bagels.”
“Oh really?” might be the reply. “Then when is Doughnut Day in Podunk?”
“Seriously!” I’d say, trying not to be offended. “Lender’s Bagels has been a large employer in this area for years, so we have Bagelfest each year.”
“So you celebrate the bagel?” the dry response would be.
“Sort of,” I’d muse. “There are lots of fun events. It gets started with the Bagel Baby Contest.”
“Ah,” they’d say, and I’d sense the sarcasm immediately. “So the baby that looks the most like a bagel wins the prize?”
“No,” I’d explain patiently. “It’s kind of a beauty pageant for youngsters, in a light-hearted kind of way.
“Then we have the Miss Bagelfest Pageant too,” I’d add with trepidation.
“What does she win — a year’s supply of bagels?” would come the response.
I’d try not to falter. “I don’t know, but it’s part of the fun. And there’s a carnival, and a parade, and a free bagel breakfast, and musical entertainment, and food and craft vendors, and the Run for the Bagel.”
“That doesn’t seem fair,” might come the smart-alec reply. “The bagel wouldn’t have a chance unless you rolled it downhill. Poor bagel.”
Here I’d give in. “Well, it’s not much of a competition anyway. How hard is it to catch a bagel?”
There’d be no need to mention the Bagel Bow-Wow contest. I can imagine the reply: “What — dogs have a contest to call a bagel to come to them?”
It may seem weird to outsiders, but I think Bagelfest is kind of cool. Why pass up a chance for a local festival and all the activities that go along with it? If bagels are Mattoon’s claim to fame — hey, why not?
I remember when I was a student at Eastern Illinois University and bagels were given away free at a football game. Now just what do you think happened?
Pretty soon students — not me; really, I was more subdued then — were chucking the bagel halves into the air. Let me tell you, some of them got some good air time. I don’t think the football players appreciated getting bopped in the head with the flying discs of bread, though.
Does everyone like bagels? It may be a requirement for those who live in Mattoon, but I’m not crazy about them. They’re OK, but they often seem too doughy and hard to eat.
I do like blueberry bagels with a thin layer of butter on top of each half. And when they’re toasted, they’re better, I think.
Maybe we small-town residents would get more respect from our big-city friends if we had more sophisticated celebrations like they do.
In Texas, there’s the Houston Hot Sauce Festival. Yup, you guessed it — this event is all about hot sauce and food, and it includes a salsa-making contest. That’s right up-town, now, isn’t it?
The Big Daddy of Illinois — Chicago — has high-class celebrations including the Tour de Fat, which, as you might have already guessed, is a bike and environmental fest sponsored by the New Belgium Brewery, the makers of Fat Tire beer.
Of course. That makes much more sense than a festival that boosts a bread product from a business that’s employed many local folks over many years.
But li’l ol’ Mattoon couldn’t ever conceive of a celebration to compare to the Washington, D.C. Green Festival. No, contrary to what you’re thinking, it doesn’t celebrate the color that Kermit the Frog bemoaned in his classic vocal masterpiece.
Instead, the Green Festival cheers healthy communities and economies related to “going green,” with organic dining, organic beer and more on the agenda for the environmentally conscious.
I bet it’s almost as exciting as D.C.’s “National Book Festival,” although if Clifford the Big Red Dog is there, it could be lots of fun.
Then there’s Atlanta’s Exotic Bird Fair each summer. I’m pretty sure the birds aren’t on the menu, but instead folks can purchase anything from a canary to a cockatoo and all the apparatus needed for these feathered friends.
I guess those city folk don’t have too much on us country bumpkins. I don’t think Bagelfest is too many steps down on the excitement scale from a hot-sauce party or a big book bash.
Perhaps I’ll tout Bagelfest 2009 with pride, then, to my friends from all walks of life. This year’s theme, “Ahoy Matey!” just adds a little pizzazz. Things don’t have to be fancy or expensive to be fun. Anyone can browse the booths, watch the parade and enjoy the Bagelfest-related contests for free.
It’s simple, and that’s enough for many of us. There’s no need to hide from our basic Bagelfest tradition.
“Anyone coming to Mattoon for Bagelfest this year?” I’ll ask my out-of-state friends via Facebook.
“Sure,” they’ll reply (I’m guessing), from Florida, Ohio, Texas and New Jersey, “as soon as we raise enough dough.”
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medic57 wrote on Jul 9, 2009 6:33 AM: