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Wednesday, May 27, 2009 9:18 PM CDT
COLUMN: Even at Lake Mattoon, rules apply to the bird brains amongst us



Being the wild-eyed, reckless rebel that I am, I happen to like rules.

So I’d have to say that I’m generally in favor of the proposed new rules governing waterfowl hunting at Lake Mattoon. I’m sure that awaiting what I, personally, think about the topic has kept many hunters awake nights.

In case you missed it, the new guidelines approved this week by the Mattoon Public Works Advisory Board — as recommendations to the full Mattoon City Council — are aimed at more fairly offering blinds to various hunters throughout the waterfowl season.

Blinds will be assigned by annual drawing each August, according to the new rules. Each blind can accommodate no more than three shooters, decoy spreads must be 36 or less and removed after each hunt, etc.

Here’s what I want to know: Who’s gonna tell the ducks?

I wonder if the rules for the ducks are different. Maybe these feathered few can put out a human decoy or two, keeping hunters away from one area, then stick to that part of the lake as they go on about doing whatever it is that ducks do.

Maybe there aren’t rules at all for the ducks. I guess I’m just being silly. But if there are rules for the ducks, just how are they notified — air mail?

It seems unfair that the waterfowl be blindsided — so to speak — by sudden rule changes if they go into effect, yet making our feathered friends aware of the regulations for hunters might give a few things away.

I can see the ducks now, counting heads to see if it’s a decoy flock or the real McCoy. “I see 37 of them — must be living, breathing fowl, so it’s safe. That’s a rule.”

I don’t know a whole lot about hunting, particularly waterfowl hunting, but some of this seems ironic to me.

Birds aren’t necessarily known for their brilliance — hence, I assume, the term “bird brain.” Yet hunters have to put on their camouflage, craft their blinds, put out their decoys and otherwise prepare to outwit these flying Einsteins and take them down.

Maybe birds are smarter than most people would assume...that or else hunters are not so smart.

No, I’m just kidding. I don’t want to insult a bunch of guys with guns. If hunting is allowed at the lake, there have to be rules to keep things fair and safe. It’s hard to oppose that.

For my nieces and nephews, I have rules at my house for the same reasons: safety and fairness. I think my (extra) silliness this week may even stem from enforcing those rules this weekend when one of my nephews and one of my nieces visited.

Rule No. 1 at Aunt Penny’s: No roughhousing. That means no running, no wrestling, no jumping on the bed, no general rowdiness in the house. It’s hard to stay a “cool” aunt and have a rule like this, but I don’t want my Jokey the Smurf drinking glass broken.

Rule No. 2: Be nice. This means to be respectful of others and yourself, and to mind adults when they tell you something. This is the most succinct way I can cover many bases, such as: share the toys; don’t hit; listen when a grown-up tells you something; go to bed when you’re told; etc.

Rule No. 3: Ask permission if you want to touch something on a shelf, for example, in the house. I’ll usually let the kids see something that I have “on display,” but they know they have to ask for permission. My nephew Cooper wanted to see my guns and knives, which I have on the wall for display, so he did ask me to show them to him.

That’s good, ‘cause I can get in a “gun safety lesson” while I’m at it.

Rules keep peace at my house and your house and in society at large. Some of my friends have the “house rules” posted on the fridge or the bulletin board for the kids at home.

“No running” is a popular one. “Make your bed every day” is another.

Sure, kids become teenagers and get all rebellious and hate rules. But structure is good for them when they’re young — heck, structure is good for all of us.

I guess I’ve been successfully brainwashed into this. It’s that whole “work first, play later” mentality. I even have rules for myself at home. The dishes get done every day (okay, some rules are made to be broken...). Dirty clothes go in the hamper. “A place for everything and everything in its place.”

But my mention of “bird brains” in the headline of this column is directed at myself primarily. Again, I wouldn’t even think of knocking all my good friends, those lovely, gun-toting, skillfully aiming waterfowl hunters.

I have my own sets of rules, and sometimes I break them. And what happens? Chaos. Disorder. Problems. That, among other things, of course, makes me a bird brain.

All of us bird brains need rules, to ensure order and fairness. The waterfowl regulations at Lake Mattoon are just a recent example.

We need rules for those scatter-brained moments when we can’t count on our minds to rationalize and lead us in the right direction. We need rules not only for when we disagree with each other, but for when we can’t agree inside our own heads.

I guess my crazy, reckless days are behind me. I’m all about rules. One of my No. 1 rules for myself is to quit writing (or talking, or singing, etc.) while the crowd is still pleased. You want to leave them wanting more.

See what happens when rules are broken?

Downright painful, isn’t it?


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Tom Andres wrote on May 27, 2009 10:59 PM:

" Hmmmm, yes, well I see our time has ended for this week. Don't forget to work on your project before our next session - the one where you present your findings on The Fair Tax; you know, the tax reform idea you were going to 'columnize' for us? "

kamfong wrote on May 28, 2009 6:37 AM:

" Good one Penny. "

Harry Potter wrote on May 30, 2009 1:37 PM:

" You're getting a little redundant, Tom. Perhaps it's time for one of your letters to the editor on this issue. "

Tom Andres wrote on May 31, 2009 9:10 AM:

" Harry, after bashing Bush/Cheney for eight long years, I'm surprised you claim not to know the true meaning of redundant. LOL.

There are two reasons I harp on Penny to research and opine on The Fair Tax. The first reason is that, while her columns are fun to read, they typically belong on the features page, not the editorials page.

The second reason, while I'd like to write a letter on The Fair Tax, I am limited to only 400 words published at 30-day intervals - or some such rule as that. Columns, on the other hand, average around 1,000 words and can be published in a series for days on end if need be.

Harry, surely you are not partisan when it comes to federal taxes. Why do you not speak out against our corrupted federal tax system? Do you work for the IRS? Do you work for H&R Block? Do you work for a corporation that receives tax benefits resulting from backroom deals with politicians looking for corporate campaign contributors? Are you a lobbyist?

Why not join me and try to get this corrupt tax system abolished? "

Harry Potter wrote on May 31, 2009 8:35 PM:

" Uh...Tom...I hate to point this out to you but this site is only a little over 3 years old. How do you know I've been bashing Bush and Cheney for 8 years? Maybe I'm and ex Bush/Cheney fan who was only turned off by their war? And hey, I'll consider joining your one man tea party when you answer Susan's question. "

Tom Andres wrote on Jun 1, 2009 9:49 AM:

" Harry, good catch. Honestly, I had not stopped to think that this site was only three years old. My point is: when you target just Republicans, you miss at least half of the varmints.

Soon, we will hear the other shoe drop. When the hyper-spending bills during the Bush years (and now during the Obama ascendancy), have to be paid, hyper-tax-flation will be a new fact of American life. LOL, by then, you'll probably have to pay the feds a "lawful assembly tax" in order to hold a protest rally.

Eventually, someone has to pay the bills. When the American people finally wake up and realize there's no free lunch, the politicians will have already devoured supper and finished off an elaborate gourmet dessert - all on our tab.

As I've said before, this isn't about political parties. It's about corrupt politicians buying votes with our tax dollars (and a corrupt tax system that encourages that behavior) versus the American people. Tell your children and grandchildren to find employment with the government. Within their lifetimes, those may be the only jobs available. "

Harry Potter wrote on Jun 1, 2009 11:08 AM:

" Tom, check out this op ed piece in the NYT's on today's on line page:


PAUL KRUGMAN
Reagan Did It
The change in Americas financial rules was Ronald Reagans biggest legacy and the gift that keeps on taking.

I know it's not Fox news, but it is interesting. Let me know if you read it.
And please spare me the NYT's leftist blather. "

Becky wrote on Jun 1, 2009 12:17 PM:

" "Soon, we will hear the other shoe drop. When the hyper-spending bills during the Bush years (and now during the Obama ascendancy), have to be paid, hyper-tax-flation will be a new fact of American life"

This is so, unfortunately, true. I have been harping and warning people for years but people don't want to hear bad news. Well, it's already starting, all taxing bodies are raising taxes, the dollar's value is plummeting and once the realization of what our government's current actions will really do to you and me, it will be too late by then. There is only 1 way out of this mess, get rid of the Fed, fiat money and fractional banking. Create sound money that our Treasury dept issues so that the value will hold. Until DC starts talking realistically about what's really ailing America, they can talk and talk and talk and still say the same thing...."we are the best government money can buy." "

Tom Andres wrote on Jun 1, 2009 6:25 PM:

" Harry, it's true that Reagan was president when the bill passed, and obviously it's true that he supported it. It is named after its sponsors, Congressman Fernand St. Germain, Democrat of Rhode Island, and Senator Jake Garn, Republican of Utah. The bill had broad support in Congress, with co-sponsors including Charles Schumer and Steny Hoyer. The bill passed overwhelmingly, by a margin of 272-91 in the House; a voice vote in the Senate.

So, have there been no politicians in DC in the last 27 years (of either party) who could have reversed its impact?

See, Harry, what I'm trying to do here is to pit Americans (specifically, taxpayers) against ALL corrupt politicians; while you seem bent on only attacking Republicans.

Don't you see? The two-party strategy is to keep us fighting against one another (left vs right, Republicans vs Democrats), but the real fight in the trenches should be us (you and I) against Washington DC. This Republican vs Democrat war is the greatest red herring ever.

Yes, I'm for forming a third party, or a fourth, or however many it takes to successfully dilute these two corrupt giants and bring them down. "

The Question wrote on Jun 1, 2009 7:29 PM:

" This Republican vs Democrat war is the greatest red herring ever.
Yes, I'm for forming a third party, or a fourth, or however many it takes to successfully dilute these two corrupt giants and bring them down.
----
There is truth in that, Tommy. But I don't see it working. I, and people like me, are not forming any new party with people who have endorsed torture, permanent secret imprisonment, police state spying on Americans and the invasion and subjugation of nations that have not attacked or threatened the U.S. "

Mike P wrote on Jun 1, 2009 8:07 PM:

" Local politics, would be a better place to start. The federal situation is only compounded and definately not helped, by things that have gone on locally, multiplied across the entire country. Same with the nonsense at the state level, multiplied by all but a select few.

This area failed to grow, when most of the rest of the country saw many pretty measurable gains, and didn't hedge any bets on things that contributed to various bubbles in economic systems. Charleston had the highest drop in median income in the country in 2007, just prior to the economy imploding, and local leaders were simply baffled, ignored it, and continue to do many of the things that contributed to it.

Lots of folks want more stores and retail, which more likely than not means TIF, and further shortages to tax bodies, that don't collect and spend the additional sales tax under several different collection schemes.

Charleston and probably Mattoon, will soon be trying to slip homerule past the voters. We know we can't count on this paper to effectively inform on anything. Somehow soon after the election, it comes out Mattoon is short nearly 900k in their general fund, and still no responsible explanation.

We need to get this area back on its feet. Get rose and righter to shape up or ship out, and stop being so easily diverted from holding the many various local leaders accountable constantly. If this paper won't do its job, we need a group that is interested in filling that void. If they took off, and began reaping some available local ad revenue, this paper would either shape up, ship out, or get bought out, cheap. "

Tom Andres wrote on Jun 1, 2009 8:46 PM:

" TQ, I hate to waste my time trading silly verbal punches back and forth with you, but I'll give it one shot; only one.

Don't you see? You are still blindly engaged in the senseless rhetoric the DC pols want us to engage in. You're dividing us based on party lines, instead of engaging the enemy - which is the corruption firmly implanted in DC.

Now, if you can, take off your Democrat mask, calm down and tell me (in non-political party terms) what you really want for America.

Please don't tell me about torture. Both parties have subscribed to it. Please don't tell me about permanent secret imprisonment, police state spying on Americans and the invasion and subjugation of nations that have not attacked or threatened the U.S. Are you that naive? Both parties have signed onto these practices, for years; no, for decades.

Lets begin with you telling me what you want for America. I'll bet we agree on about 90% of it. But you have to be nonpartisan, and honest. "

Mattoon_is_dying wrote on Jun 2, 2009 7:38 AM:

" This entry brings to mind a good Billy Madison quote.........." Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."................... Penny, Comp 101 is being offered at LLC this summer. I suggest you check into it "

The Question wrote on Jun 2, 2009 9:41 AM:

" Please don't tell me about torture. Both parties have subscribed to it. Please don't tell me about permanent secret imprisonment, police state spying on Americans and the invasion and subjugation of nations that have not attacked or threatened the U.S. Are you that naive? Both parties have signed onto these practices, for years; no, for decades.
----
One party planned and executed the war crimes, the other party of weaklings went along for the ride. But let's not forget one other "party" -- you, Tom. You cheered all of this war criminal activity all along while your pet ape was in office. I fought against it. That's why I would never be a member of any political party you are in. I am ACTUALLY against torture, war crimes and the destruction of the Bill of Rights. You are not. "

middle of road wrote on Jun 2, 2009 11:11 AM:

" Yes Penny by all means take advice from an anonymous poster who quotes an Oscar-winning masterpiece like "Billy Madison." "

Harry Potter wrote on Jun 2, 2009 7:13 PM:

" " Yes Penny by all means take advice from an anonymous poster who quotes an Oscar-winning masterpiece like "Billy Madison."

I would note that this comment came from an "anonymous" poster too. lol! "

middle of road wrote on Jun 2, 2009 7:21 PM:

" LOL, u got me there, Harry Potter! Nice. But at least I wasn't trying to tell someone how to write their story, and, quoting an asinine movie to do it. there's always a critic "

Tom Andres wrote on Jun 2, 2009 9:24 PM:

" Question, I will fully address your concerns when you identify yourself. Until then, I assume you know nothing about war or the definition of torture. And, please, don't tell me about John McCain tagging waterboarding as torture. Don't you get it? He's a politician who prostituted himself to garner know-nothing liberal votes. "

Early Bird wrote on Jun 3, 2009 5:45 AM:

" Question, I will fully address your concerns when you identify yourself.



Back to that again Tom Andres?

I see that you're still ducking questions put to you. Why is that?

I wonder if McCain's opposition to torture might be because of his first hand experience? Of course that doesn't fit into your preconceived views, does it? "

Tom Andres wrote on Jun 3, 2009 9:19 AM:

" Ahh, you again, Birdbrain, er, I mean Early Bird. For you, I will make an exception. I will address your concerns even though you have not identified yourself.

You enjoy anonymously stirring the pot, so I will join you. LOL, when I look out on my vast audience of left-leaning observers, I earnestly address only those who have unmasked faces. Think about it, Birdbrain. If you were addressing a crowd of conservatives, would you seriously dialogue with those who have shrouded faces?

As to McCain, yes, he was actually tortured! And that makes it impossible to understand his political position on enhanced interrogation techniques (not torture, IMHO) to save our nation from terrorist attacks. Like I said in an earlier post, McCain prostituted himself to garner liberal votes. It didn't work. Perhaps he should have changed his name to Juan McCain.

And, as I've said on other strings, it wouldn't have made much difference if McCain had won. Eventually, we'd be on the same path to socialism we're on now with Obama; it just wouldnt be the fast track. In case you havent noticed, we are now more socialist than we are capitalist.

By the way, did you receive your GM proxy in the mail yet? I hear we get to vote on what kind of cars Government Motors will now make. Im voting for humvees so well have an appropriate vehicle to drive to the mosque once the Allah folks take over our Christian nation. Standard equipment package includes prayer rugs instead of floor mats.

Hey, at least we finally elected a black guy. Racism, not ideology, was the focal point of our last election? In fact, it was the ONLY point.

OK, father bob, it's time for you to post your racist invectives again. Tell us how its racist for a white man to make a legitimate comment on a race-baited election. Tell us how its racist for a Christian man to comment on an unbelievably violent religious cult. Maybe Susan would like to chime in too. (Now there's a good case for posting anonymously! LOL) "

The Question wrote on Jun 4, 2009 2:29 PM:

" The CIA and the military should advertise for their new job classification: American torture specialist. Tommy will help them look for the right candidate. "

Tom Andres wrote on Jun 4, 2009 9:04 PM:

" Hey, your gayness, the name is Tom. By the way, I don't claim to be a torture specialist anymore than you are, Q-man; but I'm pretty good at recognizing BS when I hear it. Maybe you should change your moniker to The BS. "

The Question wrote on Jun 5, 2009 6:23 AM:

" What you're good at, Tommy boy, is cheering for the use of torture, which you call "enhanced interrogation" because, like all right wingers, you are afraid of calling the immoral practices you support by their right names. "

Harry Potter wrote on Jun 5, 2009 8:47 AM:

" Maybe you should change your moniker to The BS.

Holy cow! Talk about the pot calling.... "

Tom Andres wrote on Jun 5, 2009 1:50 PM:

" Harry Potter wrote on Jun 5, 2009 8:47 AM: "Maybe you should change your moniker to The BS. Holy cow! Talk about the pot calling...."

******

Hey, wait a minute, Harry! I thought you and I were buds; and here you are, letting The BS get away with calling me a right winger. Why I oughta dot yer eye ...

By the way, have you heard? Despite what he says, the O-man has held on to the same interrogation options available to him that Bush had. Wonder why that is. LOL. "

Harry Potter wrote on Jun 5, 2009 7:19 PM:

" By the way, have you heard? Despite what he says, the O-man has held on to the same interrogation options available to him that Bush had. Wonder why that is. LOL.


Maybe he's been reading your posts, Tom. "

The Question wrote on Jun 5, 2009 8:07 PM:

" The use of torture corrupts the society that permits it, swiftly or gradually, but inevitably and completely. "

Tom Andres wrote on Jun 5, 2009 8:54 PM:

" Maybe he's been reading your posts, Tom.

******

Ha, good one, Harry! I receive uplifting (and irrelevant) emails from the O-man's staff about once a week. I respond to them. If anyone out there ever reads them, I'll probably get a visit from some guy with a phone in his shoe.

I'm pretty sure Pat Quinn and I aren't destined to become pen pals - although I'm doing my best to bring that about. Hell, it's hard enough to get (personalized) responses from Rose and Righter and Johnson. Rose is by far and away the most conscientious about staying in touch with the little people -and he doesn't even ask for money. "

Rockin Rotty wrote on Jun 5, 2009 9:28 PM:

" You guys are too funny!
LOL! "

 

 




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