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Wednesday, April 1, 2009 10:23 PM CDT
COLUMN: Wave and clap if you like foolin' around every day



Let me be the first to wish everyone a very happy April Fools’ Day!

Now, now, now — don’t think the joke’s on me. I know that April Fools’ Day officially was Wednesday. But I’m proposing that every day should be AFD — we use an acronym for everything these days; why not holidays? — because it’s just so much fun.

I’ve always enjoyed playing tricks on people — harmless pranks, mind you. And I see no reason why such shenanigans should be limited to only one day a year.

Perhaps I get my mischievousness from my dad.

I remember that he used to play tricks on the maintenance man at the post office where they worked. In the basement — where the janitor arrived early in the morning before everyone else, usually while it was still dark — Dad once tied a string to the inside of the door knob, ran it elaborately through one or two rooms, and attached the other end to an aluminum ladder.

I still chuckle imagining the loud clatter that metal made on concrete in that basement bright and early when the maintenance man was half asleep and opened that door.

Dad also mentioned a stool that same poor co-worker of his used. The stool usually sat up against a workbench that had a lower shelf, about the height of the rung on the stool. Some sneaky little elf apparently took one screw and fastened the stool to the shelf, so that when the maintenance man tried to pull out his seat, it was to no avail.

I don’t think Dad was ever present when these particular pranks reached their peak. He was more disciplined than I am: I like to be there when my victim — um, I mean, my good-natured target — discovers the trickery.

My sisters and I played a lot of tricks on our family friend, Dianne, when we were kids. My mom and Dianne met each other when they were in college, so Dianne has always been like a cool aunt to us girls. She is so fun.

And Dianne isn’t just fun because she’s silly and always supportive in our life’s endeavors. She’s also fun for playing tricks.

She has the best combination of gullibility — um, I mean, purity of heart and innocence — and being a good sport of anyone I’ve ever known. We girls teased her enough to make any other person angry, but she takes it well. I think she’s made of steel.

Dianne came to visit once when we were kids, and before she arrived we set up a thin speaker behind the living room curtains and ran the long cord under and behind the couch and around the corner to our room. We knew she’d sleep on the couch as usual, with her head so that the curtains were a couple of feet behind her.

After bedtime, we girls met surreptitiously in one bedroom and hooked our electronic keyboard up to the speaker cord.

Having tested this trick out, we flipped the switches to some kind of cosmic or outer space sound and hit one note.

Then we waited, counting out the seconds carefully. We hit another note.

We did this a few times, and then one of my sisters went to the kitchen — near the living room — as if to get a drink of water. My mom, who knew what we were up to, appeared in the living room as Dianne, in her long nightgown, was peering curiously behind the VCR, near the curtains.

She thought there was something wrong with the VCR. Mom clued her in, and she’s never let us forget how rotten we were to her.

That’s just one story.

I’ve helped run people’s underwear up flag poles, put garlic on toothbrushes, books in pillows, broken crackers in beds (does anyone else still remember a “shivaree”?), and short-sheeted beds.

My best practical joke ever was in high school. I’ll try to make this story short. We had an informal concert, and several of us set out to play a prank on our band director.

We didn’t particularly like “Sousa,” as we called him. We’d already played some, um, “jokes” on him that I’d better not detail here.

Anyhow, some of us arrived early for the concert, and — lo and behold — Sousa asked us to hand out programs to the audience as they came in. Why sure, we’d be glad to! We added an insert that explained our joke for the night, and, later in the concert, we pounced.

We had poster-board-sized signs that said “CLAP” on one side and “WAVE” on the other side in huge letters. Sousa had his back to the band as he spoke briefly to the crowd, and he paused a moment at the microphone after speaking. The applause died down.

We popped up our signs. Suddenly, everyone started clapping again. Sousa glanced up at the crowd, looked a bit surprised, stepped back up to the microphone and said, “Thank you. Thank you.”

I never thought we’d use the other side of the sign, but my buddy encouraged me to, so with the same timing, we hoisted up the “WAVE” sign as Sousa stopped briefly while speaking later and studied his notecards. He glanced up — then looked again and stared.

The entire crowd in that high school gym — younger siblings, teachers, parents, even the principal — was waving at him.

It was hysterical! I’ll never forget the look on his face.

It seems to me that in these days of depressing economic news and all the other negative nonsense in the world, we need laughter more than ever. I think a few harmless jokes and pranks can help us out a lot.

My hat’s off to all the jokesters — like me — and the patient, thick-skinned, long-suffering good sports out there who make the frivolity possible. Let’s make every day April Fools’ Day.

Shouldn’t everyone be in favor of more fooling around?

I mean that in the pranks and jokes sense, of course. Yeah. That’s it.


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Rotty wrote on Apr 1, 2009 11:45 PM:

" Laughter is darn good medicine.

I love to fool around!
(oops, did I say that)
LOL!

Yeah, we need more of that, pranks & jokes that is.
[snicker]

Thanks for another great column, Penny, Hun! "

just watching wrote on Apr 2, 2009 8:46 AM:

" Most men have probably experienced "THE WRATH OF KONG" for forgetting to put the stool lid down after peeing,and may I suggest not to stretch clear reynolds wrap across the bowl first,that also makes for some unhappy female campers. "

JOEBLOW wrote on Apr 2, 2009 9:11 AM:

" Good job!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

Billie Brant wrote on Apr 2, 2009 10:52 PM:

" My oh my Penny! Your dad and my husband Toby would have been wonderful "partner's in crime" if they would have known each other! There's not a shadow of doubt in my mind that there would have been wonderful mischief unleashed. I can see it. What one wouldn't have thought of, the other one would have.

Toby was a "prince" among pranksters! He loved to "get" someone. When he did he almost "bellowed" with that hearty laugh he had. I was the intended "victim" of many of these "crimes" LOL! IF by some luck, some of his "victims" were able to pull one off on him, it was a reason for celebrating! It didn't happen very often. He was just too "quick". While we rolled with laughter at finally not being on the receiving end, I have to say he joined in the fun and laughed with us. He appreciated a good joke, no matter who it was on,himself included.

Two of his most memorable gems come to mind. I had the job of gathering props for a Charleston Community Theater production of "The Sunshine Boys". A full sized skeleton was needed for one of the scenes. I was able to borrow one from Charleston High School.

As soon as he laid eyes on it, I could see the wheels turning! He started laughing before he told me what he planned to do with it.

Between fits of laughter he gasped "Billie, I'm going to put it on the toilet seat in Nikki's bathroom tonight! Nikki is Toby's daughter, and at the time she was 15 years old and living with us.

He had me hide the prop that he planned to use to do his "dastardly work" so Nikki wouldn't see it before the deed was done.

I tried to talk him out of it, because I knew it would freak her out. THAT WAS HIS PLAN!!! She always got up about three o'clock in the morning and went into the bathroom. Nikki slept "hard" and when she would first wake up, she would be in a little bit of a fog. Just what he was banking on!

He put that thing on the toilet seat and propped "his" arm and hand on the sink next to "the throne". In his hand he placed "his" head. The stage was set.

Staying awake until three o'clock was not a problem for the "jester". He was a night owl and often stayed awake reading or watching TV. That night I stayed awake too so I could "clean up the mess"! LOL!

Sure enough, at the appointed time, she went down the hall. Toby about choked while trying to stifle his laughter while waiting for the explosion! He could barely contain himself from rubbing his hands together with glee like a naughty little boy plotting a nasty little plan. A nano second after she flipped on the bathroom light a blood curling shriek filled the air! " God! Oh God! she screamed. Then an even louder "Da-a-a-ad" split our eardrums! She KNEW who was responsible!

It goes without saying that she was ticked off at her dad for scaring her out of her wits. It didn't matter, because he was almost convulsing with laughter, tears running down his cheeks. He played it over and over to me after she went back to bed. "Did you hear that Billie"? Did you see her face when she flew in our room after seeing HIM" As I finally drifted off to sleep I could still hear him snickering to himself.

Now, she laughs when she thinks about it, but at the time she was one ma-a-ad young lady.

The other classic, I'm just going to give you all a hint as to what took place. It involved a scorching hot July day, a massive stone birdbath in the front yard of our home in the country, a garden hose an umbrella and a large "bird" sans feathers. This joke was done to "get even" with one of my band members whom Toby accused of "bringing on" the hot weather. I have the pictures to prove it.

What a guy! I have many "Toby stories" and I keep telling myself I'll write them down, but so far I haven't. I just need to get motivated to do it.

Life was always interesting and one never knew when a new "gotcha" was going to happen. There are many of these hilarious memories that all of us who knew and loved him can fall back on and laugh at them over and over again. They keep him close to us. "

Mike P wrote on Apr 3, 2009 7:46 PM:

" I almost killed a co worker, with a simple prank. They left one of those big sipper mugs, from a gas station soda fountian, unattended. I took off the lid, put plastic over the top, put the lid back on firmly, and trimmed offany evidence of its being there. Put it back as I found it, and went about my duties. When they got back, they went to their drink, and before taking a sip, they popped one or more horse pill size vitamins. When the glass was tipped, nothing came out, and they nearly choked.

I used to work in a factory, where it was only men, and some would step out the back door, to pee, rather than walk all the way across the plant to the only restrooms. One fella was terrified of snakes. Someone affixed some welding wire, to a piece of black rubber hose, and ran it along, where this fella made a habit of stopping to water the weeds. They waited for him to get focused, and jerked the wire. He took off like something was after him, and soaked his britches in the process, nearly tripping over his belt, reportedly. Pranks can be very dangerous. "

Billie Brant wrote on Apr 4, 2009 1:10 AM:

" Mike P, Some pranks can be dangerous, but many can be just plain good fun. A good prankster needs to know the difference and act accordingly. As far as I know, Toby never hurt anyone, unless you want to consider the "gotcha factor" being a little embarrassing as dangerous.

He could pull them off with the best of them. He could sound so sincere when he was "pulling your leg" and with a "straight face" too! I ought to know because he got me more times than I can count. He didn't need an audience either, although it was always better if he had one. If an idea popped into his head with me as the intended target he'd do it even if it was just the two of us and no one else to "perform" for.

As for me victory and revenge was oh so sweet when on the rare occasion I was able to "get" him! I rubbed it in! I howled with laughter! I would remind him of it all day long! I told his friends I "got" him. Oh yes! I did all of these things because I knew it would be a long dry spell before I "got" him again and I was going to savor every moment of it. LMAO!!! "

just watching wrote on Apr 4, 2009 3:54 PM:

" I like the one where you put black shoe polish all around the eye pieces on the binoculars,it makes racoon eyes. "

CrowWoman wrote on Apr 6, 2009 8:11 PM:

" This story and all the comments are great--wish I'd checked them out earlier.

My favorite April Fool's prank was carried out by a T.V. station in Albany, NY. They had a story on the 6:00 News about people whose Christmas lights hadn't been taken down yet, and how law enforcement was cracking down on them. They showed a few cops storming into a little old lady's house, handcuffing her, and leading her out the door. She was very frail and just shuffling along, but under arrest because she hadn't taken her Christmas lights down.

The anchorwoman quickly announced that the whole thing was an April Fool's joke and that people didn't need to get irate and call the Station. New Yorkers don't hesitate to share their opinions, so I imagine they were already getting angry calls. Anyway, the acting was great and very convincing. :~) "

 


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