Wednesday, November 26, 2008 9:11 PM CST
COLUMN: Any day you celebrate it, have a happy Thanksmasweenukah
By PENNY WEAVER, Night News Editor
pweaver@jg-tc.com
You’d better enjoy this Thanksgiving Day and its simple title, because I’m kicking off a new holiday and I’m going to draw everyone else into the festivities starting next year.
That’s right. You are sure to be dazzled by this trend in modern seasonal joy.
Come to think of it, my new Holiday Extension Plan (HEP) is just a natural next step for our society. We’re really already there.
Think about it. I’m not sure if it was late August or early September this year, but it was long before October when Halloween fare was being hawked and eagerly scooped up everywhere.
I’m quite sure the look on my face was one of those scrunchy, grouchy expressions about which your mother tells you, “Keep doing that and your face will freeze like that,” when I first saw this Halloween season stuff out so early.
The costumes, the candy, the window clings and other decor, the plastic light-up thingamajigs ... they all were on the store shelves months before the big day for ghosts and goblins.
Am I the only one who gets burned out by this seemingly non-stop holiday buying-and-selling frenzy? Do we have nothing else to look forward to in life than moving from one fest to another?
Ah, but once Halloween arrives, it just makes perfect sense for Thanksgiving and Christmas fare to come off the assembly line. After all, there are less than 60 entire days between Halloween and Christmas Day. What on earth would we do without stuff to buy and lists to make between the two?
Now, granted, I’m a Christian like probably the majority of folks in this area, but I, even in my limited knowledge, am pretty darn sure that Jewish people don’t put the emphasis on Christmas that we do.
So, lest we forget our Jewish brethren, it’s Hanukkah, also known as Chanukah or the Festival of Lights, that Judaism eagerly awaits for an eight-day celebration about this time of year.
Then, before you know it, we’re all over New Year’s Day for holiday festivities, right on the heels of everything else. It’s as if we didn’t just have an excuse to overeat and drink in excess less than seven days prior to Jan. 1.
With those major holidays all lined up in a row in the fall and winter, it’s like a constant festival-to-festival grind.
Now, don’t get me wrong — I enjoy many things about these events. Little kids dressed up for Halloween are mostly just too cute for words. Thanksgiving is a special time set aside to remember all the many things each of us has to be thankful for.
And celebrations of Christmas and Hanukkah bring a spirit of love, commemoration and joy to the season. As Christians, we celebrate anew the birth of Jesus, give gifts as signs of our sharing and joy, and, on the more secular side, look to Santa for fun for the kids.
The best part of the holidays is getting together with family and friends and just enjoying the blessing that all these people in our lives are to each of us.
The problem is that money and materialism get in the way of it all.
I know that businesses must make a profit — that’s why we all have jobs and how we all make enough money to put food on our tables, clothes on our backs, etc.
But it’s just too much for me. Sales pushing unnecessary Christmas clutter — and consumers snapping it all up — are bad enough in December, let alone in October and November. We seem to move from one holiday to another — even “minor” holidays like Valentine’s Day — with no segue whatsoever.
The spirit of the season gets lost in what’s being bought and sold. It becomes all about buy, buy, buy, and who gets the biggest pile of presents and whose Christmas tree is the biggest and whose light display is the best.
That’s my beef with the holidays. So how about a little HEP, here?
That’s right: I’m putting my Holiday Extension Plan (HEP) in place. Let’s do away with all these separate days of observance and all the political correctness of having to say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” In this one-size-fits-all society, we can do better.
From here on out, I’m promoting Thanksmasweenukah.
Starting on Sept. 1, we’ll have a national holiday encompassing Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Halloween, Hanukkah and New Year’s Day. There’ll be no need to take Christmas lights down in January — just leave your Thanksmasweenukah decor up and celebrate continually.
No one will worry about accidentally saying “Merry Christmas” to their Jewish or atheist neighbor. Just wave cheerfully and belt out a quick, “Happy Thanksmasweenukah!” when you walk by wearing your witch costume.
Now, I’ll no longer frown when fake snowmen are on sale in August. I’ll just smile to myself and say, “Oh goodie! It’s almost Thanksmasweenukah! I wonder if Santa will put a turkey drumstick with the stuffing in my stocking this year?”
Try it. Say it a few times. It’s a holiday season term that’ll soon be just rolling right off your tongue: “Gotta get those Thanksmasweenukah postcards out before the kids start school this year!”
In the meantime, Happy Thanksgiving to all. Enjoy the festivities and, most of all, the loved ones you are lucky enough to interact with today.
With my new plan of HEP for all, we’ll have something to look forward to for next year.
They start printing the Thanksmasweenukah T-shirts on Jan. 2.
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Mama says wrote on Nov 27, 2008 12:52 AM:
and Cupid with arrows for New Years,wreath on door for Memorial Day, so I will be ready the year round. "