Wednesday, September 17, 2008 8:10 PM CDT
COLUMN: In this economy, better dry your jeans on the line and buy triple-ply TP
By PENNY WEAVER, Night news editor
pweaver@jg-tc.com
This darned economy is starting to feel like a pair of already-snug jeans that you accidentally dried on “high:” You might be able to squeeze into them and walk around in public, but it ain’t comfortable.
And it leaves wrinkles and creases in places where the sun don’t shine.
I didn’t lose you with the word “economy,” did I? That’s kind of like saying “budget” or “fiscal year” — it causes AGOOTE (Automatic Glazing Over Of The Eyes).
I know it seems like everyone’s talking about the economy, and in the paper and on television and the ’Net it’s about this major bank or that major insurer, and there’s talk about the millions and billions of dollars that they send in or out daily.
Then the government steps in and throws a billion here, or a few million there, trying to soothe Wall Street. I wonder how puzzled our great-great-grandchildren will be when they’re still paying this bill in 2048?
Personally, I think most average people are more concerned about quarters than quarters of billions.
I’ll risk sounding like I’m 110 years old and say that 25 cents sure doesn’t buy what it used to. I remember when my dad paid me 50 cents to shine a pair of his work shoes, and that was pretty good money.
It wasn’t a five-minute job, either. He was quite specific about using a toothbrush to work polish into the crease between the sole and the shoe, how to rub on the polish, how to buff it with a brush, and the all-important step of Armor All to give the shoes a real shine, and some protection from water.
It doesn’t even seem so long ago that 50 cents would buy a candy bar, but those days have flown past. The snack machine at the JG/T-C now has candy bars for 65 cents — I just happened to see this through the glass; it’s not like I might actually buy one, you know, since I’m watching my diet and all.
The company that provides the snacks recently posted a sign explaining rising prices, citing their increased costs, including — you knew this was coming, right? — higher fuel prices.
Even a roll of Lifesavers is 55 cents. A pack of gum is still 50 cents, but I think it’s only four pieces. You’ve gotta chew a long time and blow a lot of bubbles to get your money’s worth there.
This kind of stuff, though, is non-essential. We all know what grocery prices and fuel prices and utility prices and almost-everything-under-the-sun prices are doing.
If our wages went up half as much, half as fast, we might be able to afford this stuff.
The rise in price for everything from gum to toilet paper really was brought to the forefront for me when I took my clothes to the laundromat this week.
Regular washers now cost $1.75 per load, up a quarter. A sign is posted to explain that increasing utility costs forced the hike. I can understand that; truly I can. Small businesses, in particular, are caught and almost are forced to raise prices for their customers in order to stay afloat.
Then I went to dry clothes and made the quite unhappy discovery that 25 cents now only gets seven minutes of drying time. That’s down from 12.
Ouch.
So as I buy a house and move into town, there are gonna be some new rules. I’m probably lucky and am just now catching up with other people; I bet y’all have already done these things to make ends meet.
First of all, I’m going to reconsider that daily shower routine. I don’t dig ditches for a living, so really, how dirty can I get? Sure, there’s dust on my computer keyboard, but not all of it settles on me. I think three showers a week might be good enough.
Second, I really think that socks can be worn more than once before they are washed. It’s been years — OK, never, but I’m exaggerating for effect — since someone asked me to take off my shoes so they could smell my socks. I think I’ll be safe there.
Third, I think I can save more gasoline. Naturally, I’ll be riding my bicycle and walking more, but I think having a vehicle’s engine actually running for all driving is overrated. All I need to do is find a route to work that’s downhill both ways, get the engine going and get up some speed, then coast the rest of the way. I’ll be laughing in Big Oil’s face before you know it.
Fourth, we can all save some money by only mowing our yards as often as the city of Mattoon mows out at Lake Paradise (that’s about twice a year). Or, we could pool our money to buy a few goats: They’re cute and they can gobble that vegetation right up.
Unfortunately, this economic straitjacket — don’t go all AGOOTE! Stay with me! — is teaching many of us again what the difference is between “need” and “want.” I might want cable TV, but I don’t “need” it. We all might like having a cell phone, but it’s not a necessity: It’s a luxury.
More and more Americans are finding this out and living this each day: They aren’t worried about keeping the phone service on; they’re wondering if they can stay warm in the winter, or buy enough food and still be able to buy prescription meds.
It’s not all bad; I think reminders to keep life simple and only use what a person truly needs are OK. It’s just a problem when it becomes a real struggle for the basics.
Try some of my money-saving ventures. I’ve also got one about why-not-use-both-sides-of-toilet-paper, but I’m saving that for when I’m really feeling, um, wiped out — financially, I mean.
As George Strait sang, “You’ve got to have an ace in the hole.” No double entendre intended.
Ewwwwwwwwww.
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Techno-less wrote on Sep 18, 2008 5:43 AM:
Maybe it's time for all of those Bill Gates wannabees out there to sit up and pay attention. In their quest for those billions they've forgotten what I like to think of as the trickle-up theory. Those lower on the stratum (economically speaking) are ultimately the ones spending the cash for the products that they are basing their billions on. How is this possible? Because there are a whole lot more of us down here and collectively we generate a lot of cash for buying things.
At least, we used to. It seems that the upper tier, in their quest for those billions, have reduced drastically the spendable assets available to those below for no other reason than they want those funds for themselves. In other words, they got greedy. They pay lower wages to fewer employees with smaller benefits. Then they pat themselves on the back for being so good at business, totally oblivious to the fact that there are now fewer people who can afford what they are selling. Some of their companies are now pretty much in dutch because of it.
In my father's time it paid for an employee to work hard to help the company to prosper. Because as long as the company prospered, the employees also prospered. The company appreciated the extra effort, and awarded you for it. Now you can spend years working for someone, and by your tenth anniversary the bosses are thinking how they should get rid of you in order to pay lower wages to someone else for doing the same job. Is it any wonder we have become a nation of job hoppers? Most of the time switching jobs is the only way to get ahead of where you are now.
Your average employer (with small business exceptions) will tell you about the high cost of health insurance. They will pontificate on the added expense of raw materials and energy costs. They will whip our pie charts and graphs to demonstrate exactly why your wages will lag even more behind the increasing cost of living. I just believe that they will generate a little more sympathy if they weren't trying to dazzle us from the front seats of their Mercedes while on their way for a months vacation via their Lear jets.
So wake up, wealthy America. Do you want to hang onto the profits that you are pulling in? Then start passing on the cash. In other words, if you want the trickle-up to stay healthy, you better start doing a better job of trickling-down. "