Thursday, September 4, 2008 3:41 PM CDT
COLUMN: Palin's daughter got pregnant - so what?
By HARRY REYNOLDS, Editorial Page Editor hreynolds@jg-tc.com
“Outing” the fact Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin’s husband, Todd, was charged with a DUI at the age of 22 — in the year 1986 — well, that’s understandable. And, I guess, quite commendable.
Pretty serious stuff, one would have to admit. Who can tell, Old Todd might be contemplating driving drunk again. Digging up ancient dirt on a guy who happens to be married for 27 years to the same woman is pretty important stuff.
What this has to do with Old Todd’s wife’s qualifications to run as John McCain’s running mate for the presidency has millions of Americans scratching their heads with one hand while talking on their cell phones as they turn a corner in the family’s SUV with the steering wheel gripped between their legs.
If Old Todd got drunk tonight, climbed into his car and dispatched a passel of Girl Scouts on their way to church, what would it have to do with Sarah Palin’s qualifications to be VP?
Like I said, this is serious, justifying legions of journalists, thousands of photographers, armies of private detectives, hundreds of thousands of lawyers and the full services of every gossip populating the Internet.
Bloggers Gone Wild is having a field day yapping about Old Todd’s youthful transgression. The rightful frenzy has reached the point where the U.S. government should kick Old Todd out of the country. The only trouble with it is most countries wouldn’t accept a man arrested on a DUI charge in 1986.
Given the seriousness of Old Todd’s DUI, the government might want to consider sending him to the international space station aboard the next shuttle flight.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting Old Todd be allowed on the space station. But, he could be ejected from the shuttle bay, perhaps, toward the moon.
This would serve two purposes. It would discourage the Old Todds (or Old Toddies) of the world from driving drunk while their spouses or significant others are running for president, or vice president.
Second (I hate secondly), millions of people — from toddlers to creakers — could peer through telescopes at Old Todd’s body sprawled in the dust of the moon.
Who knows, someone might even see a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand.
The press is demanding to know why McCain didn’t do something about Old Todd’s malfunctioning judgement when he drove drunk in 1986. There’s another important factor McCain should have taken into consideration in connection with Old Todd’s diabolical act:
The time.
And then, there’s the issue of what time bars close.
Stick with me, folks. A lot of heavy thinking has gone into this. It ranks right up there with the logic of injecting a DUI committed over two decades ago by the husband of a candidate for the vice presidency into an election campaign.
The way I figure it, Old Todd’s heinous crime against nature would have been worse if he was weaving down the the wrong lanes of Interstate 95 in the bowels of Chicago at noon on a weekday — guzzling a pint of whiskey — at 100 mph.
Ah, you’re a smart bunch of readers. You get my drift, don’t you?
You’re thinking if Old Todd was driving down I-95 at 3 in the morning, the odds of Old Todd running head-on into another car would be a lot less.
We’d be talking about two vehicles being demolished and everyone in the other car being killed while Old Todd escaped untouched. Thanks,of course, to the relaxing effects of the demon brew.
I’m a big believer in allowing bars to remain open to 3 a.m. It doesn’t make much sense shutting them down by 1 a.m. There’s still a lot of law-abiding, sober drivers on the roads.
The chances of drunks reaching the point where they pass out in the bars would be much higher.
Even assuming they made it to their vehicles after the bartenders locked the doors behind them, the odds of them plowing head on into another car would be much lower.
Most people don’t drive at 3 a.m. Democrats would be dreaming pleasantly about Old Todd cutting into McCain’s chances of reaching the White House.
Republicans would be screaming themselves awake. Not really over Old Todd’s DUI arrest, but the prospect of Obama in the Oval Office contemplating tax increases for the wealthy.
The only thing doing more harm to McCain’s campaign is the publicity the 17-year-old daughter of Todd and Sarah Palin is receiving for being pregnant.
The harm does not reside as much in the pregnancy, or even the age of the girl. The harm is born of the fact Sarah Palin is a strong advocate of teaching teenagers to abstain from sex.
Dispersing condoms by the truckload to teenagers is — in the eyes of the champions of the shades-of-gray morality — the best way to prevent unwanted pregnancies.
Even if a teenager gets pregnant, they reason, she can get an abortion. Problem solved.
This, of course, flies in the face of assuming responsibility for one’s actions.
The daughter of Sarah and Todd Palin is going to have the baby; she is going to wed the father; the Palins are going to get through this thing together.
That, in itself, is reason for McCain to admit his terrible mistake in judgement and give Sarah Palin the boot.
He won’t. Not John McCain. He is a man who accounts honor, loyalty, honesty, patriotism and all those out-of-vogue attributes as important.
Important enough, I think, to remain a maverick and just say “No.”
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injustice85 wrote on Sep 3, 2008 9:54 PM: