Thursday, August 21, 2008 7:36 PM CDT
LETTER: Mock letter to Putin from Sen. John McCain
By KEITH M. WILSON, Charleston
I enjoyed Ms. Kathleen Parker’s mock letters from President Bush, Senator Obama and Senator McCain to Russia’s Prime Minister, Mr. Putin. In the spirit of her clever satirizing of Bush and Obama, I would like to do the same with Senator McCain. Here it is:
Dear Putin,
Did you see my letter in Ms. Parker’s column (“Don’t make me come over there” (ha,ha)). I just wanted to follow up and make sure there are no misunderstandings.
Our friends in the oil industry are very pleased with recent events in Georgia. Of course we, just as you, are very pleased with the current price of oil, but they ask that we not rest on our laurels. If you and I do our part in convincing the markets that Eastern Europe’s oil and natural gas supplies are endangered, the potential for even greater profits (and campaign contributions) is excellent. Similarly, many of our friends in the military-industrial complex are very excited about the situation in Poland and the “missile crisis.” If you would please, remind your people that there is enough money here for everyone. The Republican Party is especially excited. They have run the focus groups and have done some polling and see a huge upside in the Poland situation. Everyone has just loved your people’s saber rattling in response to our intent to place anti-ballistic missiles there. For my part I will continue making bellicose comments myself (don’t make me come over there (ha,ha)).
Frankly, I think we have a perfect storm going here. If we both can generate enough fear and nationalistic fervor, this can be 9/11 all over again! But let’s face it, too many people are wising up to the terrorism card. It’s time for another Cold War, don’t you think? Of course neither of us want this to get out of hand if we can help it, but I think this can be win-win for all of us.
As we in the Republican party like to say, “Four more years!”.
Yours, McCain
KEITH M. WILSON
Charleston
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gringa wrote on Aug 22, 2008 12:55 AM:
Thanks, all my love,
Kathleen "