" I think that this article is just wrong on a lot of levels. I feel that phones are just an excuse for parents to be lazy, or un-involved, and that we are asking are kids to be more " grown up acting " then they are really ready for. Ten year olds are not ready for cell phones, phones are something that kids should not have until they are much older say freshmen in high school maybe. When I was growing up, I was always in after school clubs, choir, plays, the school paper. The way my mom and dad knew what time to pick me up was called Parental Involvement! They would have me ask the falculty advior what time I would be done the day before I was to do something. The school office would allow us to call home. And to the mom that was complaing about having to wait for so long .. that is called being a parent!!! If you have younger children and cannot leave your them with someone, then bring small games or toys to occupy them. That is comparable to those parents that whine about having to drag their older children's younger siblings out in bad weather to pick up their school age child. Being a parent means being responsible. It means knowning where your kids are, who their freinds are, what they are doing, and yes giving up your free time to take care of your children. "

" Why don't we just spoil them rotten and allow the children to run the household? "

" devilishangel, I think you unnecessarily berated parents who have given their children cell phones. Contacting the coordinator of an activity the day before practice isn't always enough (and don't you suppose the parent DID that, to avoid unnecessarily sitting in the parking lot?). Schedules change at the last minute -- practices get out early, or run long. Maybe that mother was actually doing something that made her a GOOD parent, like preparing a home-cooked meal to be ready when her children got home from their activities, rather than picking up fast food for the family, and a phone call to say, "Practice is running long," could help her time dinner better. The world is also quite different than it was back when we were kids. Kids are involved in infinitely more activities than even active kids were back in the day, and often both parents work and can't be at every single practice (and many coaches actually prefer parents not to hang around for the practices, because they want their player's focused attention), so don't assume a parent is uninvolved if they aren't attending the practice sessions with their children -- or maybe they have to juggle several children's schedules and can't be in 3 places at the same time. As far as using the school's phone to call, many practices and activities held on school property are going on till 8 or 9 at night, long after the school office locked up at 4 or 5. Pay phones are few and far between to locate, because with the proliferation of cell phones, they are not profitable to have around. Back in the day it may have been safe for a child to hang around the school waiting to be picked up after a change in scheduling, but we live in a more dangerous world. Not all children with cell phones are spoiled and irresponsible, and many, many caring and involved parents are out there who don't attend every single second of all their children's activities. "

" I am a parent who has just given my 10-year old (who will be 11 in one month) a cell phone. It became a matter of neccessity for a couple reasons. One, I am a working mother; I have meetings after work some days, while my sons have after school practices or games. If I'm not in meetings, then some days I have to have my sons in two different locations at the same time. Which leads into the my next reason: I have had coaches/teachers leave my sons (and other children) unattended at the end of a practice or after returning from a game! I realize we live in Charleston, IL, but we are not crime-free. I do not appreciate my sons being left after-dark unattended; at least this way I can talk to them as I drive into town and know that they are safe. Finally, I was driving to Chicago last Friday when the schools let out 2 hours early. Without cell phones for me, my parents, and my sons, arranging for their rides home would have been virtually impossible and overwhelming for the school offices. "

" I didn't know I had to read the paper in order to know how to raise my children. Well, now I guess I do. "

" Its amazing how we got along for years without cell phones and we had children to pick up and we worked. 16 is the age for cellphones. They can work and pay for them. You are adding expense and not teaching your children anything, but giving them everything.
We used to call from pay phone call collect when we needed picked up or have office call for us. Or heres a thought our parents were so involved in our lives they knew when to pick us up not just when we called them. A lot of schools don't allow children to have cell phones and they get in trouble! Hello pick up the phone , no pun intended maybe they shouldn't have them!!! "

" A cell phone is a privilege, not a right. Most of us reading this newspaper did not have cell phones growing up. We managed somehow, and so did our parents. I was never left behind or forgotten, and I was always picked up after school if I needed a ride, and yes, both my parents worked full time.

I do believe parents have either gotten lazy or feel pressured by their children to get them a phone. A cell phone is not a necessity. It is an extra - which requires money you may or may not have to fund it. Along with all those text messages, which kids would rather send then actually spend time TALKING with someone.

I'm not totally against cell phones - they have their place. Our daughter will get one when she starts driving by herself, and not before. And she hates the fact that she is pretty much the only one without a phone, but I keep assuring her she won't die. She hasn't keeled over yet. The only reason she wants one is because "everyone else has one".


My response to her is too bad, this family isn't run on what everyone else wants. If other parents would get a backbone we wouldn't see this type of issue basically getting a blessing from the media. A 10 year old has no right having this type of device in my opinion. But that is just my opinion!


"

" i think cell phone use is a personal choice based on the family needs and each individual child. i don't think letting your child have one at 10 makes you a bad or lazy parent. i also think that just because a child has a phone, doesn't mean they're going to be spoiled. some of my friends had everything they wanted handed to them growing up, some of us had to earn it, but we all grew up to be responsible adults. THAT'S the job of the parents. how you get there doesn't really matter, as long as in the end you have raised responsible, law abiding adults. there is no set way to raise a child; no wrong or right way. "

" Zelda, THERE IS NO PAY PHONE at the school my 11 year-old attends, and the office is locked up and unstaffed after 4 p.m. Her volleyball practices let out at 8 p.m., well after dark, in a very poorly-lit section of town. The nearest pay phone is several blocks away at a convenience store. So how is she supposed to call home collect or call from the office, like we did back in the good ol' days? The world has changed, and sometimes it's necessary to change with it. I, too, thought my child would be in high school before she got a cell phone, but having one has provided a lot of peace of mind; she doesn't have it as a status symbol (she has a very basic phone) or because her friends do, and she gets together to socialize with her friends face-to-face, rather than spending her time texting, so save the stereotypes. And I am NOT a lazy parent -- I am very involved in my child's life and attend all of her performances. But practices and club meetings are a different matter, as these are often off-limits to us parents, and it isn't a wise use of time to sit in a parking lot for 2 hours in case she gets out early. (I, too, have heard of coaches leaving children unattended after practices, though it hasn't happened to me personally -- thanks to cell phones, I can be there in 2 minutes after a schedule change, less time than it takes her to get all her equipment and belongings together). How is this anyone's business other than the parents involved? And how does having a cell phone at a young age automatically equal having a spoiled child? (Rather than being some spoiled, materialistic brat, my daughter is compassionate, polite, considerate of others, and an active community volunteer already at age 11, even skipping birthday presents a year ago to have people donate money to the animal shelter and Humane society instead, so please reserve your judgments for people you actually know!) "

" I agree, pj1983. My daughter was around 10 when she got her first cell phone. It was a Christmas present, and she's maintained a pay-as-you-go plan. Having the phone has helped her learn to budget time and money. Also, the cell phone been very convenient when unexpected situations have arisen at school. It's worked out well for our family. "

" Guess the days of running a string between two tin cans are long gone. "

" My sons have cell phones as well. They are 13 and 15, and have had them now for about 2 years. My oldest started off with a Tracfone, I bought the phone for him for Christmas, he bought all of the minutes thereafter. I watched to see what he would do with it and his level of responsibility. The kids are on my plan with Verizon now, and are only allowed to talk to other people on the network. This saves me money but more importantly, if they make a mistake and don't ask their friends first, they pay the montly fee PLUS the overage. They have done very well paying their part monthly, with the exception of winter...not much mowing to be had. I believe all children and parents need open lines of communication, and yes, sometimes it is via cellphones. It is a convenient way to keep the kids and parents in the loop and know what is going on and where they are at. The kids can call me and ask if they can go wherever without it being a hassle of finding a payphone. Especially since the time of finding a payphone is about gone. Rather than hurting parent-child relationships, I think you can use them to keep the lines of communication open within a family. It is all in *how* you use technology. It also teaches responsibility, budgeting, and planning on the child's part. Limits and boundaries have to be set and adhered to, of course. I agree with PJ, each child is raised differently, each child is taught responsibility, and each child needs to be held to that responsibility, especially when it means parents being responsible and children losing privliges. "

" Good. Perhaps the kids could all call each other and complain about what a grave injustice it is that they got cheated out of some cheerleading award. "

" About 110 Yrs. sounds about the right age to Me. "

" Well at least some people got the point I was trying to make.. Yes I realzie the world has changed but.. how did our parents manage.. a time before cell phones were everywhere?? My parents both worked two jobs, my stepbrothers mom was a single parent who worked 12 hours a day as a housekeeper in a hospital. She still managed to pick up my brothers who are one year apart, from everything they did after school. My brothers were always into every sport that came around, my younger brother n I were never forgotten or left anyplace, and if any coach or teacher left any one of us behind without adult supervision my parents and my stepbrothers mom would have had that person's job right after they handed them their head! This article made it sound like its ok to use these darn phones to replace parental involvement and that is something Im not ok with. When you're a parent it is your job to take care of your kids. The "spoiling" some mentioned comes into play because what child at 1o needs their own phone? I was not allowed to talk on our house phone ( a land line mind you) until I was 16 years old! Even then I was only allowed on that thing an hour a day. Schools give plenty of room on enrollment forms, for emergency contact numbers .. that is so that if the school can't reach mom n dad, grandma or uncle Tom or who ever can come pick up little Jimmy or Suzy. As a parent we are supposed to provide our kids with food clothes n shelter, that does not mean we have to give them every single "extra" that is avalible in the world. If more parents worried less about keeping up with everyone else, we wouldn't see 8 year olds having $200.00 birthday parties, or 10 year olds having cell phones or laptop computers. Cell phones are not a subsitute for parental involvement. That is how this article came across at least to me. My daughter is 10 now, and no way is she responsbile enough for her own phone, most 10 year olds I know can't even keep their rooms clean and Im supposed to just hand over some $100.00 phone for my kid to use because "everyone else does it" or because some "expert" says its ok to give a 10 year old a phone? of course this is just my opinion just like my other post was.. I sure didn't expect people to get so " up in arms" over this topic. And if you look closely I did not say parents that gave their kids phones were lazy I said that gave them an excuse to be that way. "

" devilishangel, your original post says the phones are "JUST" an excuse for parents to be lazy or uninvolved -- that word "JUST" makes it sound like you're excluding any other options and are in fact calling the parents lazy and uninvolved, esp. since your 1st sentence says the article is "just wrong on so many levels." As far as the schools having a list of emergency contacts to call, there ARE NO school personnel on hand at 8 or 9 at night when a lot of these activities are dismissing, and no pay phones available like another poster mentioned using back in the day. Our great-great grandparents managed without cars, too -- the horse and buggy worked well for them, but that doesn't mean we should reject all technological progress. It's all in what we teach our children and the values they instill. I'll stack my 11-year-old, cell-phone-owning child up with anyone in terms of her character, responsibility, and down-to-earth nature (NO, not spoiled!). I'm glad your parenting methods are working well for you, but don't judge those of mine and others, as you've clearly done in both of your posts. Not everyone has to do things your way to be a good parent. I think why your post hit a nerve was because of its smug, judgmental tone. "

" To devilishangel61401; I believe people have gotten so "up in arms" because the comment you initially made did sound very judgemental and harsh. You assume that because a parent doesn't want to sit in a parking lot for hours on end means that they are not involved in their childrens' lives. In one statement you say that being a parent means knowing where your kids are and what they are doing. Well, don't you think having cell phones helps this?

The argument "we didn't have this" when we were young doesn't fly with me. We didn't have a lot of things when we were young, that is not the point. That does not mean we shouldn't take advantage of the things we do have now.

No, my ten year old doesn't have a phone. But I respect the right of others that choose to do otherwise and I don't think they are bad parents because of it. "

" If other parents would get a backbone we wouldn't see this type of issue basically getting a blessing from the media. justmyopinion.

How right you are! "

" My child is very young (kindergarten) and, of course, doesn't have a cell phone. But the comment "and Im supposed to just hand over some $100.00 phone for my kid to use because "everyone else does it" or because some "expert" says its ok to give a 10 year old a phone?" for me strikes at the root of the problem. As a parent, I make the decisions for my child, and I take responsibility for that. Already my child doesn't get to do or behave the way some of her friends do. We discuss it, I let her know that we have different rules, and that is life. I don't care if all of her friends get cell phones, she won't have one. And I'm not defensive, because that is my choice. We all need to learn to be responsible for ourselves and our children and not worry or judge what other people are doing. "

" Beaches and caringmom: Amen to your posts! And I find myself adjusting to things as needs arise, too. My daughter's friends have had phones for years, but I didn't get her one until the need arose (when she joined an activity in which the coach constantly changed the dismissal time AFTER the children had already been dropped off). Getting the phone for that reason worked for us; for others, it might not. She's had to learn that many of her friends do things we don't do and have things that we don't have (such as wearing make-up, staying up late on school nights, talking back to adults, wearing expensive clothes, etc.) For us, the phone wasn't about what others had or trying to keep up with/outdo anyone; we got it because it made life easier for us, which is why some technological advances have caught on over the years, when they make our lives more convenient. I'd rather spend the time in the evening when my child is at a meeting or practice making a healthy dinner for everyone than I would sitting in a parking lot just in case the piano lesson, sports practice, or Girl Scout meeting dismisses early. "