Monday, December 31, 2007 12:19 AM CST
International couple hits hole in one via Internet dating
By HERB MEEKER, Staff Writer
hmeeker@jg-tc.com
MATTOON — This “Yank and Whacker” love story started with an Internet chess game.
That’s how Sean and Gayle Matthews met six years ago. He was looking for something to do one autumn evening in England when Gayle, a Mattoon native, logged in from the Mattoon Public Library.
“I was twiddling my keys so I asked her, ‘Do you know how the pieces move?’ and she answered, “Yes, you put a yellow square around the piece and move it.’ That tickled my English sense of humor,” said Sean, sipping from a cup at the table of his new indoor simulation golf course called “Whack ‘n’ Snack” in the Trinity Tower building at Charleston Avenue and South 17th Street. The snack portion refers to the option of dining on fare from “Our Daily Bread” down the hall.
“You can order from St. Andrews, but you might have to wait for delivery,” Matthews said, grinning.
Their humor as a couple seemed to hit the mark right away. Internet exchanges eventually led to long-distance phone calls. And then came the big step: a face-to-face meeting in Chicago.
“We really hit if off and realized we were made for each other,” recalled Sean, a computer entrepreneur. He barely made his connection onto the flight due to airline seating intrigue for the meeting, which might have scotched the whole affair.
Gayle had no doubts either about their love for each other, but some of her friends and relatives were terrified she was going to Chicago to meet someone she met on the Internet.
“Some of them thought he was Jack the Ripper or Ted Bundy. I told Sean about it later, and he was confused about Ted Bundy. I had to tell him about Bundy being a serial killer in America,” Gayle said. “He looked at me and said, ‘Surely, I’m not that scary?’”
Relaxed communication is the key to eliminating the anxieties of Internet dating, said Steven Scher, an Eastern Illinois University psychology professor, who has done research on relationships.
“The problem with Internet relationships is the communication can be truncated. It is harder to communicate in a relaxed way,” Scher said.
Some self disclosure is good, but too much can pull the plug on the relationship, he cautioned.
“You don’t want to say too much right away. Remember, it should be a gradual process. That is how we learn to know each other through regular conversation,” Scher said.
He recommended that Internet daters carefully edit their messages before sending them. That is a great advantage of Internet communication over the face-to-face conversation: You can take back the awkward statement or disclosure.
He recommends moving to phone conversations before face-to-face meetings. Be cautious before arranging the latter, and bring a friend or relative along, he advises.
“You need to check people out before there is too much intimacy. Part of the process is that you give out information and expect the person to give out information as well,” Scher said.
The Internet seemed to work well for Sean and Gayle as they moved from one step to the next in their relationship. In 2003, the cross-continental couple married in Las Vegas, incorporating a chess board wedding cake into the ceremony. They lived in England for some time, but eventually moved to America after Sean sold his computer business.
Sean is excited about his new business in the former U.S. Grant Hotel building. It offers golfers of varied talent levels to try a realistic golfing experience on a projected screen with the use of detailed computer software. He can also adjust the scenarios for famous courses across the world and even factor in different weather conditions. Whack ‘n’ Snack is open seven days per week, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Monday through Saturday, and 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sunday.
Though he came from Cambridge, England, moving to central Illinois was not a total cultural shock for Sean. He comes from a town called Cleethorpes near the northeast English coastline. Flatlands are not as much of a shock, but a coastline is hundreds of miles away.
Translation of their respective languages is a running sport.
“What helped us grow together was the differences. We’re getting used to translating things. It is easy to get the wrong impression from a phrase,” Gayle said.
Sean recalled how he was part of a golf foursome down in Texas when he realized the word “whiz” means more than quick movement on the course regarding balls in the rough.
“I told them I was going to whiz over the ball and I got the strangest look.”
Gayle later offered the American meaning of the “W” word to Sean and they both had a hearty laugh.
For more information on Whack ‘n’ Snack, call 234-6666 or log on to www.whacknsnack.com
Contact Herb Meeker at hmeeker@jg-tc.com or 238-6869.
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pj1983 wrote on Dec 31, 2007 9:05 PM: