Sunday, October 21, 2007 12:24 AM CDT
COLUMN: Celebrating birthdays has spurred family creativity
By DAWN SCHABBING, Features writer
dschabbing@jg-tc.com
Children’s birthday parties have been a part of our culture for decades.
When we first started having birthday parties for our daughter, we were probably both thinking we’ll have a few — maybe four or five.
Later, we thought the pre-teen years would be when she requested space — away from Mom and Dad.
Well, we are headed to No. 13 and so far, our daughter still likes us — most of the time — and she still likes to celebrate birthdays.
Through the years, the way we celebrate her day has changed. This year we are taking her and a few friends to a concert.
In October 1995, when she turned 1, we had a huge family birthday party. Our baby seemed overwhelmed by it all.
As our daughter became more involved in planning, she had “theme” parties at home, including Wizard of Oz, when everyone came in dressed costume. We even made a yellow brick road out of felt.
She dressed as Dorothy. I was decked out as the Wicked Witch. Her dad was Oz. Some of the costumes worn by both adults and children were impressive. All of the games were made by us and based on the movie that she was fascinated by for many years.
One of the most memorable birthday celebrations still talked about by her friends was the haunted basement of tunnels party at our home.
We created “tunnels” out of appliance-sized cardboard boxes around the basement, putting dead-ends now and then — completed it with fake cobwebs and, of course, it was mostly dark.
The fun lasted for weeks, as kids kept coming back wanting to go through the tunnels day after day, until the cardboard couldn’t withstand the activity and the boxes had to come out.
We try to put a lot of creativity into our daughter’s parties.
In recent years the group size is small and the focus is on being with friends hanging together — laughing, talking — typical girl stuff.
Some child experts say events like birthday celebrations, especially when the child helps plan it, create better self-esteem in the youngster.
Having birthday parties is a part of U.S. history as far back as the 1800s, a tradition that was started in Germany.
One study done by Elizabeth H. Pleck in 2000 at Harvard University showed how birthday parties have evolved over the years.
For many decades the party was strictly parent-run, but were most often “quite formal” and a means of teaching girls proper social etiquette and manners. Guests were often the parents’ friends’ children.
With women’s roles changing over the decades, so did parties. In about the 1920s children began to have more input; parties were less formal and more kid-friend oriented, Pleck reported in “Celebrating the Family: Ethnicity, Consumer Culture, and Family Rituals.”
It was also about then that the “Sweet Sixteen” parties became popular. But the Great Depression made it difficult for families to have parties, and possibly giving a child a special cake or dessert after a family meal was considered appropriate for a birthday in that era, Pleck reported.
Things began to change again in the 1950s when the parties were moved from inside the home to museums, swimming pools, bowling alleys and other places. Only friends of the same age were included.
By the 1980s, parties were mostly held outside the home.
One year we purchased a party package at the YMCA May Merriment benefit auction. We helped a worthy cause and gave our daughter a treat for her and her friends with a limo ride, lunch at McDonald’s, some play time at Peterson Park and a stop at Wal-Mart.
I can appreciate some friends who have children who offer a “gift exchange” at their children’s birthday parties, allowing each kid to come away with something.
And other families we know ask guests to bring items that are to be donated to an agency to help needy families or underprivileged children.
It seems that idea has been catching on in recent years in our area.
Perhaps the next study on birthday parties will reflect more on the idea of giving to others as a means of celebrating one’s birth.
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