Friday, September 21, 2007 12:23 AM CDT
Column: Discrimination ought to be done right when it comes to drinking
By HARRY REYNOLDS, Editorial page editor hreynolds@jg-tc.com
I was sitting on the porch enjoying a beer and considering the plight of the host of Eastern Illinois University students arrested at a Charleston bar early Sunday morning.
Police say they descended on the bar to keep the city a safe place for EIU students and other residents.
Which is commendable.
Keeping everybody safe goes with the general theme prevalent in our society.
The 86 unfortunate offenders were each charged with frequenting a licensed premises. Seventy-seven were charged with purchasing or accepting the demon’s brew.
Seven possessed false identification and two obstructed peace officers and misrepresenting their age. Charges against the seven were entirely justified.
As for the 86, those under 18 (assuming there were any) shouldn’t have been in the bar. They do not carry the myriad of responsibilities of voting citizens 18 or older.
I’ve never understood the logic dispatching young men and women to war, but denying them the right to partake of alcohol.
I’ve never understood the logic of allowing voters over the age of 21 to drink, but denying the same right to voters between the ages of 18 and 21.
What makes them second-class citizens, which is essentially what they are?
They elect our leaders, do battle for the same politicians who deny them the right to drink, marry, have children, etc.
Since they are voters, it’s difficult to justify denying them the full plate of their peers.
Being 64 should give me special leave — applying the inane logic necessitating police to arrest people of voting age — to drink more than those younger than me.
To reiterate, due to my advanced age and, again, applying the presiding logic, my right to drink should be proportionately greater.
The logic of denial begs for legislation setting levels for the types and amounts of liquor people can drink on the basis of age.
If we’re going to discriminate, let’s do it right.
What I would recommend is legislation allowing voters 18 to 21 to drink beer. Let’s say, limit them to 12 beers at one sitting.
This should be adequate to satisfy their lust for a bad habit. I won’t argue with the Women Christian Temperance Union. They’ve been trying to thwart the practice — one of a multitude of unfavorable habits people indulge — for over a century.
Success, thanks to efforts of organizations like the Temperance Union, briefly obtained with the implementation of Prohibition. But, it was the proverbial double-edged sword. Prohibition energized the mafia; Americans swamped speak-easies; amateur brewers used their bathtubs for another purpose; and moonshiners laid the groundwork for NASCAR.
Prohibition was repealed, revealing the overwhelming majority of Americans to be hypocrites.
Continuing the argument for proportionate drinking, based on age categories: The ration for citizens between the ages of 21 and 30 should be a case of beer at one sitting. Citizens between the ages of 30 and 40 should be permitted to consume a case of beer and two bottles of wine at one sitting.
Citizens between the ages of 40 and 50, let’s say they can drink a barrel of beer; case of wine; and bottle of whiskey.
Crossing the line into the land of senior citizenship, we’ll allot rivers of beer; cases of wine; three bottles of whiskey; and a martini at one sitting.
We’re moving into my territory now. For those between the ages of 60 and 70, the measure of beer and wine, unlimited; whiskey, one case; 12 martinis; and one bottle of vodka.
Citizens surviving over the age of 70, having not given way to cirrhosis of the liver, would be free to descend on any tavern they can stumble to, and drink it dry.
Assuming such a person transcends the century mark, he should be entitled to vote as many times as wants for a single candidate; marry as many hair-flouncing women as he desires; initiate barroom brawls; join the Hell’s Angels; and, finally, murder anyone daring to call him “a dirty old man” or “old-timer.”
I offer this humble prescription for correcting the faulty logic impelling police to invade taverns to arrest citizens consuming alcohol.
Far more equitable it would be than current.
In lieu of equality of citizenship, however, an alternative would be to implement a policy of “benign neglect.”
Let ‘em drink beer and hold the establishment responsible for not letting them drink to excess.
Arrest those under 18; arrest those using fake identifications or lying to the police; arrest those drinking off bar property; arrest those being unruly in bars.
Such a policy would be both unlawful and unacceptable to the general public — those who can drink.
But, I submit, it makes more sense than the ridiculous — and discriminatory laws — we have in place.
It confers second-class citizenship in a nation that boasts equality; and facilitates drinking to excess.
We’re one of the few countries in the civilized world practicing such lunacy in the face of reality.
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Early Bird wrote on Sep 21, 2007 4:24 AM: