Monday, June 16, 2003 10:46 AM CDT
Strader enjoys being dad to house full of adopted and foster children
BY SUE SMYSER, Features Writer
Shawn Strader's goal has been to be a parent who makes "a difference." And with six young children currently living in his home, he has risen to the challenge.
He and his wife, Tammy, reside in rural Greenup near Jewett. Their four adopted children, who range in age from 6 to 8 1/2, frequently run in and out of doors while playing. The Straders also have two foster children under the age of 6.
"We made the decision not to have (biological) children," Strader said. "Before we were even married, we talked about adoption or having foster children.
"There are so many kids in the world. Many have no permanent home and no chance," he said. "That is the biggest reason we chose adoption and foster parenting. We want to make a difference."
In 1998 they became foster parents to a 3-year-old named Evan, who won their hearts. In 2000 he became their adopted son.
The other three -- Katy, Kimberly and Kenneith -- came as foster children soon after. Then Strader left for Kuwait with the military. When he returned they had the opportunity to adopt the three, making them a family of six.
Evan and Kenneith will both turn 9 in July. Both were born on the same day about one hour apart geographically and within a few hours of each other, Mrs. Strader said. Kimberly is 6 and Katy is 7.
Most of the time they play together well, but if an argument breaks out, it is settled by one of two methods, depending on how serious the scuffle is, Strader said.
"We try to let them settle their arguments on their own so that when they are older, they can deal with problems. But if it comes to pushing and shoving, we step in," Strader said. "They sit on the bed a lot in time out."
When tensions get high, as happens in most households, everyone takes a time out, even Mom and Dad, until everyone has regained composure, they both said.
At Christmastime the children are amazingly appreciative, Strader said. All the children give gifts to one another. They always say "thank you" and give each other hugs.
Strader said there is a lot of love in their household. People sometimes are curious about how they do what they do.
"We show them a lot of love and they return it tenfold," Strader said.
The children are homeschooled and Strader said his role is to be the principal. He also does the Bible assignments.
Some people have expressed concern about their social life in a homeschooled atmosphere, but Strader said they have a great social life and the youngsters can even carry on a conversation with adults with no problem.
Meals are eaten together, never in shifts.
"Everyone lines up to wash hands before meals. We only have one bathroom and it can be chaos if they all try to go in together," Mrs. Strader said. "I put the food on the table, but fix everybody's plate except Shawn's, then pass the food around for seconds."
Strader enjoys being a father and it's clear they love him. He spends a lot of time working on projects with them, like building birdhouses, covered bridges and getting wood ready for the winter. The next project will be a dollhouse for Kimberly.
"He enjoys his kids and doing things with them," Mrs. Strader said.
Kimberly is full of kisses for her daddy, and Katy told the story about how he once "sat down in the black chair and flipped over on his back."
Responding to the obvious question of "what did you do?" the 7-year-old said, "We laughed!" The entire family broke into gales of laughter recalling the event.
And, with a house full of little ones, sometimes remembering who is who becomes a problem, Kenneith said.
"When Mom wants me and Evan, she says 'Kevin,'" he said. And everyone laughed again.
All of the kids love to gather on Strader's lap while he sits in that favorite black chair, and he makes up tall tales. The children are often the heroes of the story, and they can hardly wait to see what will happen to them in their fictional roles.
"The only reason I even leave to go to work is so I can get back home again," Strader said.
Contact Sue Smyser at ssmyser@jg-tc.com or 238-6864.
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